Talking Dirty
by GillyChoseTheSparkleLife
Summary: When Japan in on the verge of losing control America and Romano teach him how to swear to release his anger


The way I see it Japan is sometimes overcome with anger but just refuses to show it because of his nature. I mean who doesn't get angry?

* * *

Japan was pissed as fuck. He was shaking with rage. He wanted to take an umbrella, shove it up somebody's ass and open it. He swore this was the last straw. Whoever was going to be the next victim to talk to him was going to wake up to see their entrails placed on a plate before them. No, whoever talked to him next was going to wake up with their lovers/crushes body parts scattered around their bed in some sort of sick ritualistic circle while Japan sat and laughed from the corner. He wanted to do all this because the so called nations were all behaving like wild animals and all he wanted was so finish the last scene in his manga in peace.

Japan shook his head and cleared his head of those awful thoughts.

"What is wrong with me?" he whispered as he stared at his shaking hands. "I need to find a way to control my anger" He suddenly glanced up when he heard France messing with England.

"You fucking bloody wanker!" screeched England at France as he pounded him with his folder. "You touch me again and I'll put my foot up your ass so high you won't be able to walk for a week!"

"You are good at that my love" France smirked. "Although I would prefer if it wasn't your foot"

"Ahh! Damn you!" England yelled as he lunged at France and tackled him.

Next Japan glanced over to where Spain was poking Romano with a pen.

"That does it you stupid tomato bastard. Poke me one more time and I'll fucking break this pen along with all your fingers!" Spain laughed in reply.

China tapped Japan on the shoulder. Japan contained his urge to jump at his throat.

"Yes China?" he asked politely.

"My panda needs to be walked and is hungry. Can you do it? I'm kind of busy with Russia"

"Of course" he said as he took the panda.

Japan walked the panda around and then took him to the cafeteria to feed him. He placed his food container as he sat down and sighed and held his head up with his balled fists.

"Hey Japan. What's up?" greeted America as he slid in next to him.

"Hello America. Nice to see you"

Suddenly a thought popped into Japan's head. America was one of the cheeriest nations. Surely there had to be a secret to how he kept his rage at bay.

"Excuse me America. I don't mean to bother you but I have a question"

"Shoot"

"How do you stay so happy at meetings? I mean, it gets so frustrating. Everybody yelling and having to stay calm despite"

America thought deeply.

"I dunno know. I guess when I'm pissed I just tell it to everybody. It helps to vent. That's why there's so much yelling"

"That's was I was afraid of"

"What? Speaking your feelings out loud?"

"Yes"

"I see" America went to deep thought again. "I know! I'll help you speak your feelings!"

"I do not know if that is possible"

"Sure it is! Just tell me what you're feeling right now"

"Well I am quiet angry at China. He made me walk and feed his panda. I am also annoyed about how China won't stop flirting with Russia. But that's a problem for a different day"

"Ok, good but put in more emotion when venting your feelings!"

"Uhhh"

"Pretend I'm China. What do you want to tell me?"

"China, I am displeased for having to take care of your panda. Please do it yourself next time"

"No, no, no dude. You got be aggressive"

"China, do not make me take care of your panda again!" Japan blushed. "Was that too loud?"

"No, perfect, but you gotta seem more angry. Be like yo China, get off your lazy ass and walk your own fucking pet!"

Japan blushed. "I could not say such words"

"What? Swearing?"

Japan nodded.

"I'll teach you how to swear then. How's that sound?"

"I can try"

"Nice! We'll start easy. Uhh, let's see. Tell me to go to hell"

Japan blushed.

"Don't worry, I won't get offended. Just tell me to go to hell"

"America, g-go to h-he-he-hell" Japan whispered.

"Awesome job dude! Now be louder"

"America, go to he-hell"

"Louder"

"America, go to hell"

"Louder. Shout it at the top of your fucking lungs!"

Japan shut his eyes. "America, go to hell!" He opened his eyes.

America was grinning widely.

"I-I did it"

"Yes you did. Let's move up. Tell me you're going to rip my fucking dick off and shove it up Russia's gaping asshole"

Japan blushed deeply.

"All right, maybe that's a little too advanced. Just tell me to fuck off then"

"F-f-fu-fuc-fuck off America" America nodded and motioned to keep going.

"Fu-fuck off America"

"Fuck off America!"

"Whoa dude, that went a lot faster. You're catching on quick! Now let's put the two sentences together. Tell me to fuck off and go to hell"

Japan took a deep breath.

"America, fuck off and go to hell!"

"Holy fucking shit! Japan! I never knew you could swear like that!" Romano exclaimed as he ran in.

"America is teaching me"

"This bastard? You should've fucking asked me to teach you. Never mind, I'm always up for swearing. Now who do you want to cuss out?"

"China"

Romano scratched his chin in thought.

"I almost feel a little bad since panda bastard's not so terrible. But if you need me to teach you prepare to get fucking schooled! Now one of the most important things is to use as many fucking swear words as possible in a damn sentence and not repeat them. So tell me all the swear words you know"

"Uh, hell. Ass" After that his voice got quiet and he whispered out a barley audible "Fuck, shit, bastard. Is that good?"

America butted in. "You know even if you have limited swearing vocabulary you can make up your own swears. Like take shit for example. You can say holy shit, are you shitting me, you little shit, shit nuggets, shit head, shit face, shitty ass, you get it?"

Japan nodded understandingly. Romano handed him a list of swear words he scribbled down.

"Here. Practice saying all these. It's a pretty big list but you have a lot of variety to choose from"

The cafeteria was filled with Japan, America, and Romano swearing worse than a bunch of drunken sailors turned truck drivers. America and Romano were so proud of themselves. Exhausted, they all drank to sooth their parched filthy throats.

"You ready Japan?"

"Fuck yeah, dickface"

America beamed proudly.

"That was fucking weak Japan. One more before we return" encouraged Romano.

"Hell no! I'm fucking done for the day asshole"

Romano wiped a tear from his eye. "He's ready"

The foul mouthed trio marched back into the meeting room.

"Japan! Where were you? I got worried about my panda"

Japan prepared himself. This was the moment he was practicing for for the last hour. Japan took a deep breath, let it out, and prepared his mouth.

"None of your fucking business. If you want to know where your damn panda is maybe you should take some fucking responsibility bastard! Also my advice for your sorry scrawny ass is to grow a fucking pair and either blow the damn commie already or ask him on a damn date. You have no idea how much it pisses me off to see you send those annoying ass looks. Who knows, maybe he returns the feelings and you two can prance naked through his precious sunflower fields or some shit"

With that said Japan sat down and went to sketch ideas for his newest manga.


End file.
